When Peace Always Seems Just Beyond Your Reach
When I was four years old, I started taking piano lessons right along side my older brother, the prodigy. I practiced so hard, hoping one day I could be just like him.
When I was six years old, I remember sitting in the pew at church one Sunday morning, listening to my brother play the piano. His performance was both effortless and beautiful. He was special and loved by everyone. How I longed to be special, too.
I remember thinking to myself, I better figure something out here, and I better figure it out fast.
I needed to get good at something if I wanted to be special, if I wanted to feel worthy, if I wanted to be loved. And I was desperate to be loved.
That moment set the course for the road I would take that eventually led me into my twenties and the season I like to call, the season of my undoing. By the time I graduated from college and the power of the real world began to exert its gravitational pull on my hopes and dreams, my life was quickly starting to unravel before my eyes.
I was driven to win. I was obsessed with receiving other’s approval. I was demanding and critical of myself. I was terrified of rejection. I had a hard time listening to criticism. I felt it impossible to say no to other’s demands. I could never speak my thoughts and feelings and I did my very best to avoid any conflict that came my way.
Yes, I was raised in church. Yes, I always loved Jesus. I knew Him. I studied Scripture. Yet somewhere in the deepest caverns and hollows of my heart, what I could believe for so many others, I could not believe for myself.
Other people could be whole, I thought, but that must not be for me.
No amount of study, prayer, or faith ever seemed to glue together what was terribly broken inside. I wanted to be healed. I longed to know what wholeness felt like. I craved peace more than anything I could imagine.
And then my healing came. Not in the way you’d expect. Jesus ushered me into a sacred place. A sacred season of emotional healing. Jesus led me from my season of undoing into my season of healing and He never let go.
I heard Him whisper to me, Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28, NIV)
He gave me rest. For months, as I talked with my counselor, Jesus walked with me and helped me to rebuild the foundation of my life. He nurtured the roots of our relationship well. I felt my worth for the first time. I saw His delight in me.
I was building and living a life of peace. It was all I had ever hoped for. Longed for. To breathe. To feel solid and sure. To experience wholeness. To experience abundance. Physical abundance. Spiritual abundance. Emotional abundance.
In John 10:10b (NKJV) Jesus shares, I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
My new book, Peace for a Lifetime: Embracing a Life of Hope, Wholeness, and Harmony Through Emotional Abundance, is for anyone who has ever felt hopelessly broken, who has lived life just scraping the bottom of the barrel, who has felt empty, hollowed-out, undone.
Is peace something that has always escaped you?
Is peace something you have always wanted in your relationships, but have never managed to experience, at least not for any length of time?
This is not how life has to be. This is not the life God has for you.
You don’t have to keep trying so hard to prove your worth. You don’t have to keep pushing, hoping that everything will turn out okay. Healing isn’t just for someone else. Healing is for you.
Jesus is whispering to you, Come to me…
Will you come to Him today? Will you accept the peace He has for you? Will you let Him walk you from your season of pain into His peace?
You can experience the love for which you long.
You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine.
You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow.
You can experience peace —for a lifetime.
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