Why We Are the Most Influential Person In Our Relationships

  Somehow we may think, Donald Trump may be the most influential person in his relationships, but certainly we could never be the most influential person in our relationships.


We can come up with all the reasons why we could never be that influential —our past, our failures, our weaknesses, our fears. Surely the people around us with whom we are in relationship, they would certainly be more influential than us. Right?


Wrong. We are the most influential person in our relationships because we are the only people we are capable of changing or influencing.


Our ability to create a life of Emotional Abundance and peace is almost entirely up to us. When we commit to seek God and His healing, we will find both. Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV) states, You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. The Emotional Abundance we experience as a result will overflow and impact all of our relationships.


If you’ve ever felt helpless or hopeless in your relationships, God has so much more in store for you! He longs for you to know His peace in every relationship in your life.


Here is an excerpt from my new book, Peace For a Lifetime, that shares why you are the most influential person in your relationships.


We all have tendencies toward certain defense mechanisms we learned early on to keep us safe or perhaps even to survive. Those defense mechanisms will destroy the fabric and beauty of any relationship. They will undermine the safety, respect, and trust that every relationship needs to thrive.

Once we become aware of our defenses, we are empowered to begin building new ways to engage in our relationships. We can keep ourselves safe no matter what. We can open ourselves to hear another’s experience, and we can open ourselves to sharing our experience. We can communicate calmly, clearly, and directly. We can lay aside our need to defend, our need to win at all costs, and even our need to change our partner. As we do, we will learn we can come into safe contact with others and enjoy the process of building relationship.

We are the key. We own responsibility for ourselves in our communication, our life, and our relationships. We cannot ask or require another person to take responsibility for our safety, happiness, or well-being. This is the essence of our work with ourselves and God. Our relationships are merely the canvas on which we get to practice and experiment.

We can never blame another for our lack of, whether a lack of safety, a lack of peace, or a lack of having our needs met. The responsibility for us ultimately lies with us. We are in charge of our safety, peace, even our needs. If something must come from another, we are in charge of using our voice to speak our thoughts, feelings, and needs in a healthy, respectful way.

We do not even need our partners or friends to be healthy in order for us to be healthy. Many people give up and say that they cannot use healthy communication if their partner doesn’t use healthy communication; that they cannot change unless their partner is willing to change.

If our health or emotional wellbeing is dependent upon what another person does or does not do, on what they promise to do or not to do, our emotional health is on shaky ground. The more I am able to shift my focus from someone else as the key to my peace, to me as the key to my peace, the more likely I am to find peace. The person over whom I have the greatest amount of control and influence is me.


What freeing news! Indeed, we are the most influential person in our relationships. Don’t buy into the notion that you could never change. You can. You will. He will —change your life from the inside out. That alone will influence ALL of your relationships.


I share simple, practical life steps in my book, Peace For a Lifetime, that can help you understand the life God desires for you. This material can help you create and experience an indestructible peace – not just for today, not just for tomorrow, you can experience peace…for a lifetime!


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