Just When I Thought I Was About To Go Under
I was helpless to prevent myself from drowning.
Such was the dilemma in all of my relationships.
I needed my relationships somehow to fill me, to fix me, to feed all of the dry and hungry parts of my soul. I needed their strength. I needed their comfort. I needed their love. Punishing and critical of myself, I was obsessed with winning other’s approval. I felt it impossible to say no to friend’s demands. I could never speak my thoughts and feelings, and I did my very best to avoid any conflict that came my way.
I could feel the undertow. The exhaustion. Pulling me under. I was slowly losing my footing. I was paralyzed by any notion of rejection or ridicule; undone by the faint echo of disappointment in other’s words.
I needed my relationships in all the ways I should have needed God. I trusted the voice of others because I could never trust my own, and I could never quiet the quivering in my mind long enough to hear Him whisper His sweet and tender words, Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matt.11:28, NIV)
I thought of how He called Peter out on the water, how He pulled Him up from the waves and steadied his weak-knee’d, weary heart. (Matthew 14:22-33)
I remembered the woman at the well to whom He spoke words of compassion, of love, and gave her blistered, calloused heart new hope, new life, new rest. (John 4:1-26)
Could He give me rest?
Oh yes, He did give me rest, and He gave me so much more.
On my healing journey, I discovered that God not only wanted me to be healed, but whole. His desire for my life was to find rest and peace. To discover in the deepest bone and marrow within me that He was my rest and peace.
God rescued me from myself. He planted me on dry land and walked with me as I healed both spiritually and emotionally. He helped grow my roots and my identity to be strong and sure. He showed me what abundance looked like in my life and my relationships.
He said, I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly. (John 10:10b, NASB)
Yes, abundantly. Whole. Safe. Sound. Complete. Abounding. Overflowing. Abundantly. That is His desire for you, too!
He didn’t need me to be perfect. He didn’t need me to have it all together. He doesn’t need you to have it all together either.
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My new book, Peace for a Lifetime: Embracing a Life of Hope, Wholeness, and Harmony Through Emotional Abundance, is for anyone who has ever felt hopelessly broken, who has lived life struggling to keep your head above water, who has felt weary, desperate, sinking. I share simple, practical life steps that can help you understand the hope and the life God has for you.
Will you come to Him today?
He’s reaching out His hand. He wants to pull you up and rescue you from drowning. He wants to give you indestructible rest and peace.
Reach out and take His hand, His rest. I did and I never looked back. Just when I thought I was about to go under, I was overwhelmed by His love and it changed my life forever!
Has there ever been a time in your life when you thought you were about to go under and Jesus rescued you? I'd love to have you join the conversation!
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