When You Feel Like God Has Forgotten The Desires Of Your Heart
Sometimes maybe dreams don’t come true.
I held tightly to Psalm 37:4b (NIV) that He will give you the desires of your heart. I had memorized that verse as a little girl and recited it faithfully as I dreamed of what my life would be.
Month after month I prayed, I waited. To be honest I spent much of my time begging and pleading with God. The dream of having a child was not an easy one to get past. Strollers, babies, blankets, loom around every corner. They are usually joyful experiences, witnessing the miracle of new life. Yet these were not joyful experiences for me. Each was a reminder of the dream. The vacancy in my heart that had never been filled.
How do I fill this? I wondered. How do you get past this most primal, basic human drive, a dream that you have carried with you since you were a little girl?
I didn’t know. I endured, carrying this pain with me wherever I went. Some moments were filled with a deep and wearying sorrow. Some moments, anger. There were people who didn’t understand. How could you feel the loss of something you never had? they questioned.
But I could. I did.
I could never get past God’s words to me. I believed Him when He said that He would give me the desires of my heart.
I didn’t know how. I didn’t know when.
I understood Sarah’s laughter at God’s promise to her (Genesis 18) as she could feel her body aging, as she faced the window of time slowly closing in around her. I laughed, too.
In time I relented to the grief I had for so long held at bay. I gave in to the waves of pain that engulfed me. Silently, loudly, deeply, desperately – I grieved.
In the midst of my grief I somehow wondered if God’s words were true. I questioned whether He saw me right in the midst of my brokenness. Whether He had a miracle for me, like He did for Sarah.
As I healed, I began to discover that God’s miracles were all around me. His provision had been there all along. I began see my stepchildren as God’s gift for me to love, to invest myself. I saw my nephews and nieces as His blessing of little miracles and joys in my life. As a professional therapist, I see each and every client I have the honor to work with as my children. I love them. I delight in them. I get to pour out God’s love to them and walk with them as they build their lives, as they heal, as they grow.
My healing grew as God cemented in me my identity as His beloved. As He showed me my value and worth. My healing birthed in me new passions and purposes. My healing allowed me to discover and build a life full of hope, full of wholeness, full of abundance. Above all, full of peace.
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I not only share bits of my journey toward peace, but I also share other individual’s stories of how to cultivate a life of healing and wholeness in whatever circumstances life brings.
If you have ever experienced the loss of a dream, God has not forgotten or abandoned you. He loves you. He is with you right in the middle of your circumstances. He has a miracle for you. He had one for me.
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No, God didn’t give me a baby. Yet He has been faithful. He has fulfilled every desire of my heart. He will fulfill the desires of your heart, too.
I have many children. My heart is full. Abundant.
Whatever you dream is, with God dreams really do come true!
What are the desires of your heart that have not yet been fulfilled? Leave your comment below. I'd love to hear your journey!
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My desire is to provide a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I now live just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN with my husband and 16yr old Shih-tzu, Sophie.
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com
I'd love to have you join the Peace for a Lifetime community on Facebook: Lisa Murray
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
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